Like so many other nicotine addicts, I am a repeat offender. I smoked and quit, smoked and quit, smoked and quit until I was just sick of it. I have to admit that it took me a while to understand what was really going on. I kept thinking that I was giving up something. I was buying into the story that if I quit smok-ing, I would be so sad, and life would never be the same and I couldn't hang out with my old smokin' friends. But, finally I GOT IT. I finally was so sick of making myself sick, and so tired of watching myself walk back and forth to my bedroom window where I smoked, that I realized I was nothing but a pris-oner to nicotine. I had to do something about that…
I had to let myself out of that prison and get free from the drug that had me so addicted and so afraid that I’d have to be locked up to be able to quit using it. I had been around this program for some months, but I made the decision to get IN the program, get a sponsor, ask someone to help me take these steps, get serious about living a spiritual life and not look back.
I have already seen some of the promis-es come true in my life. I have had plen-ty of days of hell, plenty of days when my head would tell me a cigarette would "fix" me, and loads of physical and emo-tional pain, BUT I have trust and knowledge in a Power greater than my-self. When I pray for His/Her will for me and the power to carry that out...I know I won't be left alone.
I learned that WE thing from other ad-dicts. I just kept listening, kept coming to meetings and kept using whatever tool of the program I thought would help me the most when I felt like using. I do the same thing today and every day, because I'm a new baby. I'm not even a year in this new life of mine. I was drugged with nicotine for 40+ years. How could I expect to know how to live like a 10 year old already? I have to remember that or I will be in BIG trou-ble. That's why there's the WE part of this program. What I could never do alone, WE can do together. And when I think I'm big, you can remind me I'm still just a young'n...one day at a time.
Vicki Voices of Nicotine Recovery (VONR)